How to Enhance Your Virtue- A Guide For the Progressives

Hello there, are you looking to channel your rage and indignation because the President of the United States signed an executive order to reinforce the Constitution? Are you angry that there is nothing you can do to increase the crime rate and federal spending? Are you tired of getting paid to protest when you don’t have to go to work? Here are a few things you can really do to stop the evil, racist, literally Hitler, Donald Trump:

  1. Travel Expenses- It’s always a pain to select which first world countries you are going to travel to this year, now you can use the money to pay for those who wishes to travel here! With your generous support, many more poor people can have a luxurious flight to a place with values completely incompatible to them. Doesn’t that just make you feel great?
  2. Adoption- Now you can also take these poor brown people you love so much home with your whole family, they get to live, eat and sleep with you! You will learn how to cover yourself up and basic combat training. If you are lucky, they will teach you how to build splendid fireworks. It’s a win win situation really, please open your homes now.
  3. Legal Obligations- Not only you can have them in your house, you can own them too! Sign up for a legal contract today to cover their medical care, criminal responsibility, unemployment benefit, the works! You will feel extra virtuous today and everyday, your neighbours will all feel that virtue signalling and be envious!

If you are unwilling to do any of the options above then you can quit your whining you hypocrites, if you truly feel compassionate and compelled to help those people you think are less fortunate than you, you would go out there and help them, not let them become others people’s problems which they have no obligations to deal with. You are not more virtuous or a better person for forcing other people to pay for things they have no concern over, put your money where your mouth is.

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